What We Girls Go Through

I spent three and a half hours with a three year old at the hair salon on Wednesday.  It felt more like three and a half days.  Carley cried, I felt like crying, but in the end Carley and I both thought it was worth it.

Crazy Hair

Carley's hair extensions had grown out so much we finally pulled them out a couple of days ago.  Her hair had grown and was much longer then before the extensions were put in but there where quite a few knots at the ends that I had to trim off.  So I'm not sure her natural hair is any better off for having put in the extensions, but it sure made the day to day care way easier.

Carley's hair right after the exentions were pulled out

Good Hair

Carley's Beautiful Natural Hair

Carley's Beautiful Hair Extensions - You know, she's beautiful no matter what!

During my recuperation, I've had the chance to catch up on watching some movies I've been wanting to see for a while.  This morning I watched the Chris Rock movie "Good Hair".  I was blown away.  I think it's a should see for all Americans, but is definitely a MUST see for any parent, black or white, of a child of African descent, in particular if their child is a girl.

The movie starts out with Chris Rock explaining why he made the film, because his 3 year old daughter came to him crying and asking, "Daddy, how come I don't have good hair?".  So he started researching what the Black American culture considers "good hair" and it is not the natural African hair, which was often referred to as "nappy" by the African Americans he interviewed.  In fact one black woman he interviewed that wore her hair natural in locs stated that she was often considered revolutionary because of her natural hair style.

What were the preferred hair styles for most black women was relaxed hair or hair weaves, basically European type looking hair.  To relax the curl from African hair takes some incredibly harsh chemicals.  They showed 3 and 4 year olds getting this done.  When I got Carley's hair extensions put in last month, the African American beautician had no problem with relaxing Carley's hair at age 2.  She said she had relaxed hair of kids as young as one!  After seeing this movie, Carley's going to have to be much, much older, maybe when she's 21.

The price and source of the human hair for the hair weaves was a major eye opener.  Most of the hair comes from India where people either have their hair shaved as a religious sacrifice or have it cut off and stolen and sold to hair brokers.  After the hair is processed and sold in the United States, it goes for $1000s.  This made me feel a lot better about the $65 I spend on Carley's non-human hair extensions.  I also felt a little bit better about getting the extensions when the black mom of the 4 year old getting her hair relaxed said the main reason she was doing it was the time it took to comb out her daughter's hair.  Even though I think the majority of wanting straight hair is more cultural than anything else, let's face it, unless African hair is kept pretty short, Lindsey's Asian hair which is long and straight is so much easier and quicker to take care of than Carley's hair which is considerably shorter than Lindsey's but is dry and thick with very tight curls.  So there is a convenience and time factor as part of this as well.  Even though it took over an hour of Carley sitting in the chair at the salon to have the hair extensions put in, on a daily basis we're having to spend much, much less time styling it.

This movie made me laugh in places, taught me a lot about the African American hair culture in this country, gave me a lot to think about regarding what Carley will be facing as she gets older with her hair and her self image and then made me cry at the end when Chris Rock said that what he wanted to teach his daughters most was it's more important what's inside of their heads rather than what's on top of their heads.

Carley's New Hairdo

I took Carley to an African American hairdresser today to get her hair done for Christmas. I was thinking something along the lines of braids or rows with beads. I ended up getting hair extensions put in because it would last a month and the other styles only a couple of weeks. I'm having surgery on my neck in early January to fuse 3 vertebrae together and I'm stressed about not being able to take care of the kids on my own for 6 weeks without someone else being around.

When the hairdresser said there would be no maintenance needed for her hair with the extensions for a month I jumped on it. I just didn't realize how much I liked her natural hair. Both Blain and I are having a hard time getting used to the look and feel of her new "hair". She's beautiful no matter what and the new hairdo is cute, but I do miss my baby's hair.

Carley's Beautiful Hair

A very nice lady did Carley's hair in the cutest little pigtails at the picnic we went to last Saturday.  She's African American and has 2 little girls of her own so she did Carley's hair much, much better and quicker than I'm able to do.  She gave me some great tips but I'll have to get in a lot more practice before I'm able to do half as good a job and probably still take 3 or 4 times as long.

Happy Birthday, Lindsey!

Lindsey turned the big Five today.  We celebrated by having lunch at Chuckie Cheeses.  Then in the afternoon all the kids got a haircut at a neighborhood hair salon.  It was during nap time so Sammy actually fell asleep while he was getting his haircut and I had to help hold his head up.  All that fun at Chuckie's must have worn him out.  I know it wore out Blain and myself.

Bath Routine

I think I've finally gotten a hair bath time routine down for the baby.  It involves using  5 different products on her hair.  That may be extreme but it works for me and the baby.    First I use a hair oil  and massage it in her hair and scalp and comb through any tangles with a pick.  Then I use Sebamed shampoo followed by Sebamed conditioner.  After rinsing out the shampoo and conditioner, I put in a leave-in conditioner and finally massage in a scalp anti-itch emollient.  I finish it all off by fluffing up her hair with the pick.  It really doesn't take as long as it sounds.

I discovered the Sebamed line of skin and hair products completely by accident when I went to Costco online thinking I was ordering a different product that had been recommended to me by a friend.  I didn't realize I had ordered the "wrong" products until later but discovered I absolutely loved their lotions, cleansers, shampoo and conditioner.  They are soap and alkaline free and are the same pH level as skin.  I've not found anything that works nearly as well on Carley's very sensitive and dry skin and the the shampoo and conditioner really soften her hair.  Now I just go direct to their website where I can order their line of baby products.

http://www.sebamedusa.com/