An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet,
regardless of time, place, or circumstance.
The thread may stretch or tangle, but it will never break.
--- An ancient Chinese belief
Today I made arrangements for Carley's birthmother to come out and visit us in December right after Carley turns one. She wants desperately to see the child she gave birth to and keep connected to her. We witnessed her saying goodbye and saw firsthand how extremely difficult it was for her. We clearly know how much she loved this child.
A part of me is scared about the prospect of her coming out. In some ways it's easier for an adopting parent to have a closed adoption where we have no idea who the birthparents are. It's a mystery you wonder about but there are no fears of losing your child in some way to a birthparent - either in a custodial way or more likely in the emotional sense where the child might say they prefer their REAL mom. I'm sure we'll still hear that anyway at some point because I can remember saying some pretty mean, petty and hurtful things to my parents when I was going through the tween years. I guess that just goes with the territory of being a parent whether adoptive or biological.
Since both Lindsey and Sam were adopted from China, we'll probably never have any idea who their biological parents were. After seeing Carley's birthmother going through the heart tearing emotions of giving up a child, I have a much better understanding of what Lindsey's and Sam's birthmothers probably went through. I'm just so sorry that they won't have the same knowledge of their backgrounds that Carley will have.
No comments:
Post a Comment